I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize