The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
