i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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