I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
