Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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