Well apparently he's into motor boating.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
