no you cant smoke seaweed
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
