Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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