dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
