You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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