just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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