Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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