You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
