so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
