No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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