MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
