Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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