last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
