OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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