It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
