let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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