Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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