I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I smell like Dick and happiness
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
