i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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