who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he puts the penis in happiness.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Ladies don't puke and tell
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
