I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
