I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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