i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Randomize
