just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
