Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
