He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
