Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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