i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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