just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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