Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize