That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
