Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
