maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize