forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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