There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
