u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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