i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
