when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Randomize
