If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
