The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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