id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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