I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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