Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
