Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
