Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We named our party play list daddy issues
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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