I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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