Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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