i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
