Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
