just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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