i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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