trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
