thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
