For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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