3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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