We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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