I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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