no. you can't hotbox the world.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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