I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize