If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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