I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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