seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
