did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
one two three fourrrrnication!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
