I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
