she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
