I wish life had little blips of pornography
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
