Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You may now shotgun with the bride
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize