she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
