my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
