Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
