I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
