Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
