Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize