Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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