I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i think im in europe. pls send help
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
