you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize