Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
