the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
